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Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Up in Smoke: 'Cannabis Gave Me My Life Back'


After managing to find some marijuana, it sat unused and hidden in a far corner of the house. I continued to suffer as before, but I'd lost my courage. I remembered being high as a teenager, and I didn't want to be like that again. I didn't want to lose control of myself amid a roomful of sober adults. My internal battle waged for four weeks. Four weeks of society's conditioning wearing away while I wept. Finally one night when the pain became too extraordinary, it was either try the pot or go to A&E to be scanned in case I'd had an aneurysm. In my hospital-jaded and exhausted state, I finally opted for the pot, reasoning that if it was an aneurysm it would still be there afterwards, but if not I'd feel better and save myself an unnecessary trip.

Within minutes of taking a small amount of cannabis there was not an inch of my body in pain, and my tremors had stopped. My body felt at peace, and I don't think I can ever convey the enormity of that to anyone. Nothing hurt or felt wrong. I was still weak, but I could move with as much ease and grace as I used to. Yes, I was intoxicated, but it was not how I remembered it from my teenage years. Perhaps it was the smaller amount I used, just enough to free my body from its prison. I felt I was smiling more than usual, but this truly seemed to be because the mantle of agony I am normally covered in had been lifted. I certainly wasn't hearing or saying unusual things. Nevertheless, the "high" period was brief yet the health effects remained for a full 24 hours. It seemed to be a miracle. I tried to imagine the warning label if this was manufactured by a pharmaceutical company: "Will induce slight giddiness and loss of any concept of time for approximately two hours. Full beneficial effects will continue for 24 hours." An acceptable trade-off?'

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