The Bailout Wont Work and the System Will Implode

The Paulson Plan means you are going to eat it all, Paulson wants to keep the corrupt greed machine going, A Wall Street Bailout plan means you will pay for their mistakes, Administration trying to scare everyone into accepting bailout plan, Buyouts now like zombie marriages, derivative Death-Star on its way,

The name of the episode, appropriately enough, is "The Paulson Plan." The capsule for the episode reads as follows: Hanky Panky and Buck-Busting Ben decide to renovate the Goldilocks Matrix, giving it a major overhaul, and attempt to redefine the word: "fantasy." Indeed, The Paulson Plan, so-called, may be the most vivid product of a fertile imagination since "Alice in Wonderland" and "The Wizard of Oz," which quite frankly are more believable than the reasons given for the implementation of the "The Paulson Plan."

Oh, we must help the poor sheople by easing the credit-crunch so they can get more loans and get deeper into hock (like more loans is what they somehow need), and so their savings accounts and pensions plans can be saved as we hyperinflate the dollar. Oh, we are sooooo concerned about the welfare of the poor, helpless sheople! We have to save them from destroying themselves, because only we, the masters of the universe, know what is best for them. (Judy, get the barf-bag - quick!) You just don't understand. The corrupt, graft-laden, insider-trading-saturated, fraud-based, Ponzi-scheming system that we have used to rip you off and steal you blind for over a century must obviously be saved so we can keep screwing you ad infinitum. After all, isn't that what sheople are for, to be fleeced and sheered, fattened and slaughtered? You know your place. You are all bleating, ignorant sheople, so come lick our boots - and give us the damned money!!! Oh, there, there, now. We're sorry to take such an imperious tone with you. There, there, just give in to our demands like good little sheople and, in time, everything will turn out juuuuust fine --- NOT!

We know we have taxed you to death via the IRS and inflation of the money supply, we know we have manipulated all the markets and engaged in rampant insider-trading and loan fraud, thus stealing trillions of dollars of your hard-earned cash from you, we know we created Ponzi-scheme bubbles in dot.com stocks and real estate, we know we gave mortgages to people who could not afford homes in the first place, we know that we falsely rated stocks, bonds and derivatives and "cooked our books" to get you and our international friends to pay top dollar for crap, we know we lied to you about every economic statistic on the face of the planet, but, hey, we're all in this together now, and you have no alternative other than to accept our bailout plan (oh, let's call it a "rescue plan" instead) so thatyou can pay for all the economic carnage resulting from our debauchery.

And don't worry about any oversight when it comes to disbursing the piddling $700 billion, because it should be obvious, based on all the foregoing, that we can be trusted to handle the mere 700 billion as if it were -well - our own, which it will be if you approve the plan! Oh, but perhaps we should not mention that - you might construe that as some kind of silly old moral hazard, hahaha. And never mind that we told you we don't know if the plan will work, because we know it won't, but we didn't want to upset you any more than you already are. And have no concern that the 1.4 quadrillion dollar, roiling, boiling derivatives volcano is going to wipe out the entire world banking system with molten credit default swaps and interest rate swaps in a blaze of pyroclastic glory over the next several years, because, hey - we're working on it! And never mind that the problem is unsolvable. This is the United Goldilocks Matrix, where everything turns out juuuuust right!

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