A BRITISH man yesterday successfully crossed the English Channel using nothing but a car ferry.
Wayne Hayes set sail from Dover at 9.15am on board the P&O Pride of Burgundy and landed in Calais just 90 minutes later after losing £15 on the slot machines.
He then loaded his Mercedes Vito with more than 7000 very small bottles of beer before enjoying a cheese and ham toastie, a glass of Muscadet and a visit to Madame Charlotte's Maison de Sexe.
He returned to Dover at 6.15pm local time on board the Pride of Kent.
He said: "You can get a return for £30 and while on board you have a choice of places to eat and drink, from the relaxed and casual family area to the more elegant and exclusive surroundings of the Club Lounge."
Mr Hayes' latest trouble-free crossing is in marked contrast to a series of disastrous foreign attempts including a Frenchman in a bucket and a Spaniard on a horse.
Last week two Chinamen had to be rescued by French coastguards after attempting the 24 mile journey on a bamboo raft powered solely by ping pong.
Meanwhile, the Hungarian daredevil Lazlo Pinsky is missing, feared drowned, after attempting the Portsmouth to Cherbourg crossing on an ironing board pulled along by a pair of hungry spaniels.
Later this week Ireland's Brian McCoy hopes to jump from Hastings to Dunkirk with a run-up starting in Macclesfield
The Daily Mash
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